Divorce will strain your emotional resilience and likely exacerbate your already-deteriorating relationship with your spouse. The two of you may struggle to interact with one another without fighting, which might make sharing parental responsibilities much more difficult.
Divorcing spouses need to really think about how their behavior might impact their children and try to adjust to shared custody with patience and compassion. Working on two critical skills can make things much easier for you, your ex and your kids.
The right kind of communication makes all the difference
When you have strong, negative feelings toward your former partner, those emotions may crop up and come out in inappropriate ways when you interact. Putting some rules in place regarding communication during the divorce can help the two of you avoid unnecessary conflict.
Agree not to discuss contentious issues in person and especially not in front of your children when you are together and apart. Additionally, committing to approaching one another with respect and trying to center positive things, like how good they are with providing consistent structure for the children, can make healthy communication easier.
Find ways to regain control over your emotional reactions
Developing your own emotional resilience will make co-parenting much easier. If you can set aside that surge of frustration or rage that comes up when your ex mentions going on a date, it will be easier for the two of you to discuss the practical implications of that decision and make sure that your children still have the support and parental relationships they need.
Letting go of your negative emotions toward your ex can be a good step toward better self-regulation. Either support groups or therapy can help you develop both communication and emotional mindfulness as tools that can help you as a parent sharing custody with a former partner.